Guilty by Relation

      "Your father has agreed to let us meet here at your house daily for your sessions.  There is no model, really. You can talk about whatever you feel like talking about. But we don't stop therapy until I think you're better.   Okay?"
      "Okay. I am so grateful to him for this.  It is a hassle and an added expense to be getting out and driving to your office.  So thank you for doing this.
     The therapist smiled.  "Your welcome. But the first thing I'd like to do is give you a hug. " The therapist stood up and moved towards the patient. 
    "Wow. Thank you."
     The therapist smiled. "It's alright. I think you need it."
     The patient and the therapist sat down again. 
    "Do you want some coffee or tea?" 
    "Not unless you want some."
    "No. I usually drink coffee in the morning. Tea in the evening before bed."

     The room became quiet.

     "What would you like to talk about? What is the biggest message going through your head right now?"
     "Mostly how stupid I feel, not to have noticed what has been going on with my own family.
     "Why do you feel stupid? What didn't you know?"
    "That my family never wanted me."
     "What do you mean 'they never wanted you'?"
    " I was six-and-a-half years old when I came to live with them.  My natural parents are my dad's sister and his brother-in-law, who have died now."
     "So they are your aunt and uncle?" 
    " Yes. Their daughters I consider as my sisters. I believe they are the ones who never wanted me.  Not my parents."
     " I see.  I'm so sorry. That must be awful. We'll talk more next time."

*****************************************************************************

2nd Session
    "Wow. Another hug?" The patient smiled and quietly chuckled
      "Yes. I'd like to start every session this way. It makes us both at ease, I think. I want you to feel that we're friends, and that you can trust me, because you can." 
     "And you're taping this, right?"
     "Yes, mostly for recollection later, for my memory, which can be bad.  Do you have any after thoughts, from when we spoke last?"
      "Mostly that my sisters were always trying to keep me from speaking out too much. I was always being told to 'shut up' and I was very hurt by that. But then again, I never heard my mother or father correct them, so I thought that everyone was in agreement. That I was being too loud or speaking out of turn, which I know I do, having ADD, but no one ever really tried to help me with the insecurities or feelings which come with it. Except my mother, who gave me a book about ADD, the history, the feelings that normally come with it. So it seemed like she would quietly support me in secret, sort of a feeling bad for me and trying to help me, but in public with my father and sisters she would feel compelled to not be on my side , and not stand up for me when they put me down, at least not in my presence.
     " How did you come to live with them?"
    "I came from a place of great poverty. My natural mother had been diagnosed with several mental illnesses when she was younger, manic depression, and schizophrenia, and the final consensus was schizophrenia and had been in several psychiatric hospitals in Michigan, wherever we were at. My natural father couldn't really afford anyplace for her and he wasn't schooled at all past high school so she kept going in and out when the funds would run out as they did and she'd have to leave. I think it was mostly the constant moving, my natural mother's mental health and always going into facilities and dealing with me as a small child was a hopeless situation for him and it came out as being unable to take proper care of me, or child neglect. 
      "What did your natural father do for a job?"
    "Most of the time I only remember him as a short-order cook," 
     "Alright then. That's all for today. But there's something I'd like you do to for me. Start writing these things down in a notebook of some sort.  It's all well and good to tell me these things but it will help you more to write them down. Alright?"
     "Okay"