Guilty by Relation Pt. 2

3rd Session
     "It's good to see you again. Did you do any writing?"
     "Actually I did. When I was younger my mother told me that she thought it would be a good idea if I wrote things down like this. See, when i came to live with my aunt and uncle who I consider my parents, I would talk to anybody and everybody about my situation and how i came to live with them. I was then told by my mom to stop doing this because it created all kinds of drama for them and my sisters. All kinds of phone calls and apologizing and embarrassing conversations for them.  So my mom encouraged me to write them down.  But I was so young at the time and wasn't very good at expressing myself on paper.
     "And what did that lead to?"
    "Well, my parents thought that I needed to talk to someone, like a therapist or social worker, which is what it ended up being. My sisters seemed to think that this was just attention-seeking behavior. 
     "Didn't you also have a problem with incontinence? I think I also read that in your file."
    " Yes. It was more than that. I was not properly toilet trained."
     "Were you ridiculed? You were like seven years old, weren't you?"
    " Yes. By my sisters and kids at school. My father hated it, and didn't understand it.
     "Did your mother understand ?"
    " She understood better than my father did.  You see, she was a teacher before she married my father, so she is a more understanding person.  But this lead to more doctor visits, specialists, and my sisters invariably felt very jealous that made my feelings of inadequacy worse, which tends to make incontinence worse. And it did."
     "Okay. Now there's something else I'd like you to start doing and that is going for a walk. You're over 300 pounds, yes?
     "Yes."
     "Try and go out for a walk once a day if you can manage it."

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4th Session

     "Hello again. Were you able to do any walking this week?"
    "I went for a walk twice this week. I like to do it at night. I feel like I'm alone with God and my thoughts. Remember how it rained last night? I went walking right after that and it smelled so wonderful. 
     "Good. Try to do more when you get the chance. I'd like to see it happen once a day. But go at your own pace. So I was remembering what you said last time, and I was wondering, how did your parents know it was incontinence?
     "Well, I was taken to more doctors.  Mom and Dad wanted to make sure it wasn't a urinary tract infection, or anything else like that which could be fixed with medicine.  So many doctors. But in the end, everyone came to the conclusion that nothing was physically wrong with me.  It was mental and psychological.
     "You didn't notice your sisters were jealous?"
    "No. I was an only child with my natural parents so I didn't know how siblings act."
     "Would they try and hit you or . . . ?"
    "Nothing like that. But they sure would notice when I got special attention. Like 'Why does she get to leave school early?'
     "I see. How did you feel?"
     " Like they didn't understand. I barely understood myself.  I had never been to a specialist like a urologist before.  I thought that maybe this was common for kids or something.  But then why were my sisters behaving like that?  I was told not to worry about them.  Mom and Dad said that they would straighten them out and help them understand.  But I guess they never really understood. "
     "I'm so sorry about that.  We'll talk more next time."